Of late there have been events, people, more events and more people across and around who instigate me on thinking about the pros and cons of life-long commitments. There are friends who got married, some who decided not to sacrifice the long term freedom, and some like me who are still dwindling in the thoughts not being able to decide on what is right, and what is easy.
The eligible age for marriage though is decided by government in clear and definitive terms, I still feel there is no right age for finding a suitable match, who by heart and by soul continues to be enamored in love forever. There are different answers given by different set of people, who belong to different age groups, different sex and profession. And then there are answers which are correct but not true, there are aspirations which are rightfully conquered by the obligation; such answers come from the women folk. Then there is a different tone set in by media with the luxuriant jewelry and well-endowed saris and attractive girls with miniscule brains and mickle of tears. All this and more, builds in loads of impossible expectations and un-comprehensibility between the newly formed and old existing relations.
I hear people saying that this is the same for girls and boys; and rather easier for girls as they are free to choose between carrier and marriage. It’s a convenient option. At this point I remember words of a very dear friend, “ladkiyaan papa ke paise pe hi aish karti hain!!!”
There is always a fantasy about so-called ‘rajkumars’; in mothers mind more than in daughters. A son-in-law, who respects in laws as his own parents, loves my daughter for what she is, and accepts happily for what she can’t be. May be we have moved ahead of the white horses and dreamy eyed boys; but looking at the note-worthy scarcity of the above mentioned characteristics, I don’t see many of the indicators being lived up to in most cases.
On the other hand, guys have fairly simple and counterpointing list of the desirable attributes. She should be smart (but not too smart), beautiful (but not aphrodisiac), and should obey me and “my mother” (winks). Not to forget this is not quite the same list presented by the same guy’s parents.
Then there are online matrimony sites, who claim that they are second best (after god) in fixing matches. It’s no better than a social networking site but with a label that ‘this so and so’ wants to get married. So the conversation begins and ends with one question in mind, “will you even marry me?”
As I mentioned earlier I have friends in almost all phrases and stages of marriage; there is big deal of insight that I (voluntarily or un-voluntarily) receive on the same regards. It’s a big deal of a mystery needs to be unveiled step by step. Let me take my time and wholesome understanding to jaunt across. Till then, some remarkable words from the book read recently,
“The perfect marriage, like the perfect body, is mythical. I never met a woman who's said she has the perfect marriage or the perfect body...There's always something lacking.”