A very intriguing topic I must say, and having written two posts already about Marriage and its effects (rather counter-effects); there was no stopping of pen from writing here. As much as we all love that art of match matching, I feel, playing god is not all that fun when the responsibility grows out of proportion or things start falling out. Not to mention the struggle of commensuration with the national stereo types of fairer skin, masters degrees, six digit salary and not to mention the art of making round rotis. There is no explaining the fact why dusky skin, alternate degrees, exiguous salary and no culinary skills are not considered at par with the contrary. The worst part at this being the fact that this doesn’t determine the behavioural characteristics of the person. These are the qualities, skill sets which don’t guarantee a good life ahead (for either of the sexes).
In the last few months, I have read some columnists (men & women both) write about the extreme pressure levied on the youngsters by their parents, by society and beyond; to identify their soul mates. It becomes unseemly after a point in time to remain single (not in a relationship, just single). Society no doubt has extended its boundaries of acceptance for various kinds of relationships; the standard commitments, living-in systems, divorced and widow/ widower remarriages and even to some extent relationship statuses of the LGBT communities. What the society apparently has not accepted is the ”Single” Status. It is difficult to decipher how people can live alone and yet enjoy their lives.
There are some standardised norms as per categories to live in this society. It is more like colouring within the lines, if it spills the general belief is that it would have lost its beauty. Nobody wants to explore the beauty beyond these lines. These norms do change at their own pace but there is no defined time stretch for it.
I went through a column written by Chetan Bhagat, where he discloses the secret to his happy married life. He disclosed courageously, that he never expected his wife to cook or clean for him. That seemingly was never a part of the contract. It should be believed that time is the most important assets of married life. Unlike the other mercenary stuff, spending time on each other and with each other gives that satisfaction which is hardly attained otherwise.
The concept of what the “other person” brings in to the marriage is unflaggingly high, it has become more of a negotiation of qualities and assets than a relationship. The common observation is that Shaadi been discussed more as a commodity than as a concept, an institution these days. The most uncomprehended aspect of marriage is that its not a guess game. You don’t get to see all the cards in the beginning of the game. There is this element of surprise that unwraps itself with time and then perhaps it remains only a matter of fact that non-round rotis made by a particular set of hands rung better than worldly cuisines.
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